Next Step
by SEISKINK
Summary: It was not a question of to love or not to love, but more of whether or not to move forward. [ShizxNatxMai]
1. Long Road To Heaven

**Next Step**

_Disclaimer:_ I'm not to blame for the absolute cuteness that is Mai Hime.

_Suisei Kink_

Chapter One: Long Road To Heaven 

Kuga Natsuki was somewhat reluctant to accept that it was over. She turned the tap off and stared uncertainly at her reflection in the mirror above the faucet. She had grown so accustomed to most of her thoughts and emotions revolving around it, including the many sleepless nights she pondered over it. Somehow she found it a guilty pleasure to continue in doing so, yet it would be selfish for those who were also involved.

She could not help to think that now, she had pratically no purpose in life. A large portion of her sixteen years had been spent single-mindedly working towards it, solving the Hime's ultimate secret, along with her mother's death. Little did she expect that this project of hers proved to be a mere escapism from life, from human vulnerability. The result of the aftermath had left her less than happy, the harsh truths she had obtained did not make things better.

Nevertheless, she was relieved that everyone caught in the crossfire were safe and sound. The injuries the festival incorporated she could accept, but others dying, she could not.

" Natsuki? Is everything fine?"

Shizuru's concerned voice reverberated through the ladies' toilet, snapping Natsuki out of her reverie. A small smile teased the blue-haired girl's lips, more often than not, she was grateful for her friend to remind her that despite shunning away from the social circle, she never ceased to exist.

However, the smile died down as quickly as it came, upon remembering that she and Shizuru were not _just friends_ anymore. She did not hate her due to the incident during their brief disappearance from the academy, but was secretly disappointed that all along, Shizuru had other intentions.

Natsuki was not one to jump to conclusions easily, though. Furthermore, she slowly came to realize that the feeling was mutual, that she equally treasured Shizuru and her love. But that was not a sufficient reason to shrug off the awkwardness between them. First, she had to find out what the latter truly wanted.

Natsuki was afraid that once again, she would not like what she would know.

* * *

Shizuru's expression instantly brightened as Natsuki approached her. Losing a sense of herself, she reached out to grab her hand, only for it to be swatted away in a flash. Her heart sank as reality dawned upon her.

" Sorry," Natsuki mumbled stiffly, never liking public affections.

Taking a deep breath, Shizuru strained a smile. She called it her 'kaichou-smile', one she used not only during student council meetings, but when she needed to affirm others that she was worth it. Hopefully, she would never have to use it on Natsuki again—she mentally slapped herself for being fake to the person who felt the most real to her.

Then again, she was the one who first suggested taking a step in the relationship. Who was she to complain? Besides, Natsuki had forgiven her selfish actions in the past, which she would do anything to atone for. She would do anything for Natsuki, even if her desires would not be satisfied. No, she would not repeat the same mistakes, now knowing well that they bring nothing but hurt.

" Lets get back to the party before someone thinks you're on the run again, neh?" She requested, gesturing towards the hallway. Just mere minutes ago, she was irrationally fearful that Natsuki would speed off once again into the night to complete some supposed unfinished business.

" Fine," Natsuki let the matter go and they both proceeded back to the function room. Midway, Natsuki abruptly stopped and turned around to place a comforting hand on Shizuru's shoulder.

" Don't worry," She assured, " I'm not going to leave you anytime. I'll never leave you."

Shizuru felt a surge of vertigo at her words and smirked upon realizing that she had unveiled Natsuki's hidden soft side. A once in a blue moon event. " I like it when you're this cute, Natsuki-chan," She teased, causing Natsuki to blush hotly.

" Shall we?" Shizuru outstretched her palm, this time waiting for Natsuki. A stab of anxiety affected her for half a second, until Natsuki complied, placing her hand on it.

Gently, Shizuru pulled her forwards. Though she was the one leading, to her it was as if she was the one being led.

* * *

Reluctantly, Shizuru brushed specks off her red chiffon gown and left Natsuki to make her final appearance as Fuuka Gakuen's student council persident. The speech she was going to give onstage was admittedly boring, it was a part of the image after all and willingly reccommended Natsuki to save herself from it.

Natsuki shrugged, informing her that she won't go far away. She was tentatively smoothing her satin dress when she spotted a familiar face. Not far from her was Tokiha Mai, an ex-comrade. It was the first time she saw the orange-haired girl in formal wear and the simple yet elegant black dress she donned certainly accentuated her good figure.

" Isn't this party for graduating seniors only?" Natsuki inquired, advancing towards her.

Mai turned to her, slightly surprised. " Oh, Natsuki! Midori dragged me along, since she's one of the chaperoning teachers and can't find a date in time. But she's abandoned me since we came…and she even made me wear this short dress!"

Mai tugged on the hemm of her dress in hope to cover more of her flesh, but instead drawing more attention to her body. Despite herself, Natsuki chuckled perversely.

" So, how's life?" Natsuki asked casually, attempting a polite conversation.

" There's still too many things to think about," Mai replied, frowning. " Yet it's not worth the while anymore, since so far it's not been a threat. Maybe next time it will, but that seems so much later. What about you?"

" Nothing much," Natsuki simply said, dreading Mai to press on the issue of what had become of her and Shizuru.

" What about you and Shizuru?" Mai continued.

" I…" Natsuki wished she could remain speechless, but that left more to be explained in the future. On the other hand, what was going on could not be summarized in mere sentences. " I…It's accomplicated."

" You want to talk about it with her, don't you? About everything," Mai stated understandingly.

" I just can't anymore," Natsuki sighed. " It used to be so easy, now I don't even know what she really takes me as."

" At least you know that she loves you," Mai pointed out, " and you are no different. Your love is not doomed, Natsuki."

It seemed like a peaceful moment and Natsuki remained silent for a while to absorb the difference in the atmosphere. To her it was déjà vu, like the time when the two of them spent the night over at the dorm. Similar problems they discussed, but no haunting memories made things more difficult. They were merely two friends conversing with each other, no strings attached. As compared with her current interactions with Shizuru, Natsuki was more at ease. Mai was naturally easy to talk to and she wanted this rare conversation to last longer.

" Come on, lets go outside for fresh air."


	2. Impulsive Betrayal

Thanks for your lovely reviews guys! Sorry for the long update, was on vacation. Hope you enjoy chapter two.

* * *

Chapter Two: Impulsive Betrayal

The full moon hung high in the sky, devoid of any companions. Natsuki lifted her gaze, surreptitiously searching for the hime star though she knew well that it had disappeared.

" It all happened so fast huh?" Mai caught her and asked. " I do that too, it used to fascinate me until I knew that our powers kills people."

" I hate it all the way, but now it's gone," Natsuki confided, turning back to her. " It's like I'm not myself anymore."

" What are you talking about?" Mai patted Natsuki's back companionably, an attempt to break down her tough demeanor and derive amusement. " You are always you. How could that change?"

" Don't touch me," Natsuki swatted her hand away roughly, embarassed even if there was no one else around. " Since when did you get touchy-feely?"

" Must have rubbed off Mikoto," Mai deduced. " She likes hugging me, she wants me to hug her and I like hugging her. Sooner or later it'll become a hobby."

" You forgot to mention that you love hugging Yuiichi and vice versa," Natsuki snickered, suddenly feeling mischievous. Damn influence from Shizuru. " Along with doing other things."

It was Mai's turn to be embarassed. " Hey, what couples do is private! Especially those…stuff. By the way, we've been wandering around aimlessly so far. Where would you like to go?"

" Anywhere will be fine," Natsuki shrugged. " Shizuru still have other things to settle after her speech, so I have some time until she needs me."

" The garden then," Mai proposed and headed in the direction towards it. Natsuki followed her, subconsciously recollecting a memory of a few years ago. The garden was when she and Shizuru first met.

That time, she was about to vent her anger and loneliness on the flowers, when the student council president stopped her. Gently she did and even said that it will hurt the flowers, instead of the straightforward, " You are gong against the school rules by damaging school property." Shizuru was indeed that kind of person, refraining from harming anyone whenver possible. Natsuki began to reprimand herself for doubts about her, but in an instant, shoved them aside. Enough self reflections for the day, she had one too many lately.

" Is something wrong?" Mai asked, noting the sudden silence between them.

" Nothing," Natsuki simply answered. She vaguely wondered if the garden would again be the setting for a significant memory.

* * *

They sat within the white gazebo, facing the darkness. Nearby lampposts glimmered dimly, thus making it difficult to discern the radiant colours of the flowers. Still, their unmistakable scent wafted to them via the wind, intoxicating them in all their glory.

Natsuki glanced at all four directions and found themselves alone. She randomly envisioned herself with Shizuru, the latter commenting deviously that there was no one secretly making out and hence they should take up the job. Amused at herself, she chuckled at the thought.

" Wow, and I thought there will be some teachers patrolling here," Mai piped up, as if having read Natsuki's mind. " You know, this place is actually a popular make out centre…there's always people at it, even during classes."

" Are you one of them?" Natsuki inquired, slightly startled at the coincidence and the possibility that Mai might have ESP.

Mai scowled. Clearly, she was. " Hey, this is pretty out of character for you, talking about these things. Usually you just stick to our common grounds…don't tell me that handling romance has become one of them?"

" I don't think I consider it as a personal issue," Natsuki arched an eyebrow. " I'm not even revealing details or anything, it's just that you seem particularly interested about it."

" You are particulary interested about it," Mai corrected. " And so am I, but honestly…not so much on the romance part, it's more on the handling for me."

" I thought you got over the complications a while back," Natsuki said, thinking back to the time Mai was debating with herself the real meaning of true love.

" I wish it was that easy," Mai sighed. " Turns out that love has many phases, more than I expected. Now that me and Tate are officially together, it's a whole new set of things I have to do."

" Why, isn't it about being your true self and all those cliched advice?" Natsuki commented curiously. She never thought of Mai as someone who would align to stereotypes. Only Shizuru, who had to meet numerous demands, could pull it off and at the same time retain her basic essence.

" It's not what I am supposed to do," Mai started. " It's what I should do. Tate has been trying really hard to make me happy and stay in love, but I don't know how to do the same. And when I remind myself about the time Mikoto tried but I never noticed it, I'm just scared all over again…of screwing everything up. Things won't always be fine in the end and maybe the next time it won't."

Natsuki was at a lost on what advice to give, but attempted anyway. " If he loves you, then loving him back is all you need to do. It's what he wants, remember? At least you can be sure he does…me, I'm a whole step behind. What Shizuru wants, I don't know, yet she never left me alone. It's painful that sometimes I see her as being selfish, when I'm the one who's acting like a coward."

Mai sensed the bitterness in her last statement and instinctively acted according to her nature. " You're not a coward. Forgiving and accepting her, it means a lot for Shizuru. It's really hard for her to keep her feelings hidden for a long time, you and I know that well. Even now, she doesn't seem to be forcing herself on you since it's what you want. From my point of view, it's more of what you want, Natsuki."

" What do I want?" Natsuki quipped blanky, part of her confusion filtered out as she realized the truth in Mai's words.

" Well, it's for you to decide, isn't it?" Mai reminded her, glad that Natsuki was comforted.

Both of them were leaning on the porch and again Mai had the impulse to caress her warmly, seeing it as an appropriate thing to do. Surprisingly, Natsuki leaned into her touch, barely showing a sign of discomfort.

* * *

They knew it was absolutely wrong and they had nothing to blame except themselves. It was not the moonlight, the romantic background, the aroma of flowers which spurred them on, simply their own irrational will.

In unison, they closed in on each other, joining lip to lip in a gentle fashion. From afar they look akin to one entire entity, blending into what seemed to them as an alternate reality.


End file.
